…or maybe I should say “mule”. Try all you will to change someone’s thoughts or beliefs, and you fail almost every time. Why is that? Maybe some folks just don’t get it….

…or do they?

Human nature is predictable about 99% of the time in regards to change. OK, I made that number up, but you get my meaning, MOST are predictable. If you try to force someone into an action or an idea, they resist.

To illustrate this, let’s try an exercise. You will need an trusting subject that is unaware of this test.

• Take your subject and ask them if they will stand and face you, as you try to “compare your hand size to theirs, based on stance”.
• Standing face to face, in arms reach of each other, but not quite into their personal space, have them hold their hand up in front of them, palm out.
• Place your hand, palm out gently against theirs,as though comparing hand sized.
• Relax, then gently push their hand.

Everyone I’ve ever done this to always reacted the same way, they pushed back.

Why is this? MY theory is that you are encroaching on their idea of what is theirs – their personal space. When you try to force yourself into what is “theirs”, they react with resistance. Nobody likes things to be forced on them, be it tangible or intangible.

Put another way, (and FHB Tip #9), putting new ideas into someone’s head is like moving a rope – it is far easier to pull it along than it is to try to push it.

This is election season. I was talking with my mother-in-law last night about her arguing her side of the Obama/Romney argument. She was telling me how she went back and forth with this one guy on Facebook on who was better and why. Listening to her was the inspiration for this post. No matter what she said, the guy was adamant that she was wrong. Try arguing with the opposite party(ies) regarding why your candidate should be elected over theirs, and no amount of pushing your beliefs will ever change anyone’s mind. It simply doesn’t work that way. And forcing your ideas on someone else is not enlightening them, it is simply coercion, and flies in the face of the ideas that this country was built upon.

The best way to change someone’s mind, is to have them change it themselves. This is a much more complicated method, but almost never results in any hard feelings.

For example, the car my wife drives is a 2001 Toyota. I will go weeks without driving it. The wife, who drives it daily, will mention that it’s got a problem that she is starting to worry about, out of alignment, making a funny nose, etc. I blow it off repeatedly….until the next time I drive it and notice the very same problem. Now it has become a serious issue, and quickly gets resolved.

How should my wife handle my resistance to her issue of me not believing her? Don’t tell me about the problem, give me a legitimate errand that will expose the problems she’s already noticed. Let ME discover the issue that she already knows about…and then it will get resolved.

(I asked her for a real world example, and she gave me this. I love her dearly, but she can be spiteful sometimes…and for the record, the van wasn’t making that nose the last time I drove it….)

What I’m saying, is that if you have a friend/spouse/family member that you are trying to get on board for whatever you believe strongly in (in my case, preparedness), don’t bother dropping off the great literature about preparing for zombies. Let them know you just finished going over your hurricane shutters, or just tested out your generator, and do they want you to come over and hep them check theirs? Learn to make it THEIR idea. What is more important, being right, or having them make it through hard times?

I know this is not much along the lines of growing tomatoes, making lye soap, or eating meat rabbits, but the more folks I help be more ready to help themselves, the fewer folks I will have knocking on my door for a handout. I’ve always preferred giving a “hand up” instead. Show folks how to help themselves.

As to the elections, I personally don’t believe one is much better than the other. The two-party system is flawed as it is. Spending won’t stop with either candidate. Things will get worse before they get better. How much worse will depend a lot on personal luck as well as your preparedness. I won’t try to push prepping on you, but if you start to think its a good idea, I will be more than happy to help lead you down that path.

I’m doing what *I* can to get ready, just in case.

Peace,
db